breaking through the clouds

Every now and then I get a day when the gloom of problems is lifted for a while and I see the joy in doing what I do. Today was one of those days. Yesterday I had the joy of rocking my sweet, fat 5 month grandson to sleep but also faced the stark reality that it is very difficult to visit with family or friends with 10 to 12 children with the background that mine have. I left a ketchup covered kitchen, toys everywhere, at least 2 or 3 broken items and one very upset dog. I'm sure my family is always relieved when we drive away. Thanksgiving plans are becoming almost dreaded as my brood has increased in size and capacity for damage year by year. Today, however, all of those things seemed like nothing compared to the firsts: The relief of seeing a spark I haven't seen since Raymond lost his dad as he tried to master his latest hobby, a unicycle. Seeing Andrey behind the wheel of the van as he took it on himself to turn it around and have it ready when I came out of the house. The smile on his face when after five years in America he did what most Russian boys dream of doing; bought his first pair of Nikes. For the very first time in 5 years I saw Anya and Alyona play with their dolls and pretend to talk for them, etc., something they have never been able to do and Alina, four and a half but who can't remember how to count to five, sitting in her carseat singing "We fall down and lay our crowns at the feet of Jesus We cry Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lamb." It just doesn't get better than this.