Sun AND clouds

I hit the ground running today as I had gotten behind over the weekend and remembered paperwork I had't done last week and Mondays are hectic anyway with two different trips to town for tutoring, Anya's swimming practice and Salvadors Cub Scout meeting. I got up at 6:30 to check my e-mail, put some wood in the heater, woke up the kids that go to school, cranked the van to warm it up and tried to keep everybody moving. Fats had his usual am breakdown screaming and insisting on putting on his own car seat straps. The donkey joined in and I realized that it's no wonder the neighbors want me to move. Came home and got the rest moving, morning chores done; same old "you don't eat til the animals do"speech. I can't blame it on FAS memory damage because they don't ALL have that. Got through the boys Bible lesson and saw that it was time to get Igor to tutoring with Mrs. Byers. I have discovered that she is the horse whisperer of reading instruction for at least my two that go to her. I would send them all if I could afford it. I'm using half my grocery money as it is now and we're eating lots of beans but it's worth every penny. It is the only thing that I have found that has made any difference in their reading ability. It's a combination of tactile and visual instruction with speech thrown in. I stopped by the store since some of the kids were panicing because there was nothing in the 'fridge but condiments and nothing in the cabinets but my canned tomatoes and beans and rice. Not even peanut butter. I told them it was an experiment to see how long I could go without shopping (Richard Swinson's idea in his book 'Margins'), but it didn't fly with them. Raced back home to feed the, by then, ravenous teenagers who had finished their math and were panting from practicing unicycling. Thats when the phone began to ring over and over. It was M and I had just taken J and H (my part time children) back to her the day before so I didn't answer. After the 20th time I could take it anymore. She sounded very upset and wanted me to come and get the babies (4 and 5). It has finally come down to her going to jail and there's no way around it. She didn't want the kids to see them come and get her. I couldn't blame her and after wanting for so long to see her get her life together it made me sick to think of her sitting in a jail cell. I dropped everything and went to get them. As I drove away with H sobbing (her mom had told her what was happening) and M standing forlornly on the sidewalk with tears streaming down her face I prayed that this would somehow work out for all of their good and not just be another sad chapter in an already sad story. I had to stop and get gas, run in Walmart for a change of clothes for them since they didn't bring a thing then off to school to retrieve the three schoolers. Gathered them up and back to the house literally pouring them out except for Alyona as we were already 5 minutes late for her tutoring. By the time I got home Anya had forgotten about her swimming practice and Salvador his cub scout meeting so I let sleeping dogs lie. Supper, forget the baths, find extra pillows for J and H. Alina screamed and whined for an hour. She always screams and whines, but not usually an hour. Too much stress today I guess. I am tempted to give her Risperidol to help her sleep. Seems that all FAS kids take it in order to sleep. I hate to see her writhing around crying"I'm tired, I'm tired". She just can not relax. And people think FAS is just some facial features. If peoplecould see what these children go through, it should be mandatory in every high school class to see what alcohol does to unborn babies. They're all quiet now. A few hours of peace then start over again. Lord, give me the sense to do this right.