New Year finally starts

The last 2 weeks or so have disappeared into history and I haven't recorded a thing. There were many days that I wanted to blog things out so badly that I thought I would explode. I didn't but it would have been nice. I even had a whole page typed out one day when Raymond decided to mess with the power cord and turned off the computer. It produced a good heart to heart about his interpersonal relationship skills but no blog. I lost my motivation for that day. Ten children with the flu was more than I had ever dealt with at once and took most of my time and energy, leaving the place in shambles. We are still digging out. Hadn't even gotten everyone back out of bed and into the mainstream before paying dearly for the results of my neglect of my other responsibilties. Dolly, the donkey, had been limping for a few days and I had seen her out the window. I asked the donkey keeper to take a look at her. I never learn my lesson when it comes to trusting children from damaged backgrounds with big responsibility. I called the farrier to come and trim her feet, thinking it was a problem with her hooves being too long. He discovered a piece of wire wrapped all the way around her foot above the hoof, having cut in very deeply. I was sick, angry, at myself and the boy in charge. It just so happens to be the one that I need to build relationship the most. I tried not to let any of my irritation show, but he had such a flippant attitude that my looks probably conveyed my real feelings. I struggled all afternoon until the vet came with why I have so much trouble and what I could do about the situation. First of all, I realized that I kept these animals to teach my children to care. If they slip up over and over, better do it with donkeys and chickens than wives and children later. If the donkey dies, worst case, then it will be for a purpose. I love my donkey and will trust God to heal her foot. He knows that I don't need the heartbreak much less expense and trouble of dealing with an 8oo lbs. dead animal. But the main issue is how to help my children learn to think on their own, to take responsibility seriously, to have enough initiative to do things without being specifically told to do them. The struggle continues... My new years resolutions are to tie more heart strings with my kids, especially the ones that seem to have minimal attachment to me, to live life more intentionally, trying to make every day meaningful and not just let time wander by, to more fully understand the will of God in my life and for these kids.