midsummer

I finally got a device to put a memory chip in for photos. Rick mailed it to me to use until the other computer is repaired. I have some pictures in the digital camera but this one was on the chip that Rick sent. It is one of the salmon fishing boats that are now all on dry land again for the season. The last of the fish have been processed and the freezer emptied up there. Rick will be coming home for a week and then going back until freeze up, whenever that is, to work on a building project. More money for the year but more time alone with the kids for me. It will probably be October before he gets back. We have decided to put all of the school age kids in school this year. I have prayed long and hard about it and it is difficult for me to give up on home schooling, even temporarily. I have always wanted the best for the kids and have felt that I knew them better than anyone else and would be able to give them what they need and protect them from all the evil and pain out there. I think that I have done a decent job and am not sorry for giving them the foundation that I have. I am just not sure that I am the best one for the job at this point. It is hard to be everything to everyone. I have been fighting a big battle for the last year with some of them, most of them. I am the mom and I represent the mom that abused them and hurt them. They take that out on me. They rebel against me and don't want my opinions or instruction at this point. They buck me in as many ways as they can. The last straw was their attitude toward God. If I say that God loves them then they make fun of God, reading the Bible, loving each other..I finally realized that maybe it was time to back off on the teaching
part and pray more, love them more by filling myself up more with time with God, asking for more of His spirit, letting Him put others in their path that they would listen to better than me. If I am the seawall for their anger, putting up boundaries but not trying so hard to be the mom-teacher that they don't want, then maybe it will give God the job of healing their hearts. I can't do it.
We have had a lot of fun this summer in my opinion. We have been swimming almost every day, had picnics and watermelon, played frisbee and soccer. Participated in rec league soccer and the swim team, been to the water park, rode ATVs, picked berries, hiked and fished. But if you ask any one of the adopted kids, except the two little ones, they will tell you that it has been a boring summer. I know because they have told several people, in my presence. Several caseworkers have heard what a hard, boring life my kids have. All work and no play. Work, as in making your bed after you get out of it at 10 and packing your swimsuit, there has been a minimum of work this summer. If you want to do things for people and then have them appreciate it, don't be a parent, especially not the parent of a child that was abused or neglected. They seem to have a permanently negative view of life. I have hope that it will not always be so, but that is the reality right now. Well, it is nearing bed time and the fight to get them to stay in bed and go to sleep. I will try to get some recent pictures out of the camera in the next couple of days. The teenagers are all going to a really cool Christian camp in Tenn. which is a miracle that I should have started this blog with but I grumbled as usual. It is just that I have had a long day of one disgruntled child after another and it wears on you after a while. God does amazing things daily and getting the kids in this camp and providing the finances has been faith building, to say the least. I look forward to the growth that I believe will come from the experience of the next week. It will be a great midsummer break in the bad attitudes of some of them and a great way to boost them spiritually as they go into the school year. God is good.